What Is Wrong With This Picture

I am baffled, but not surprised due to the large amount of ignorance in this country, that health care reform has become this hard to pass! I mean, we are the ONLY civilized nation in the world that do not take care of their own citizens!! We offer universal healthcare to the Iraq citizens, but not for our own....where is the rational? It also baffles me that we can give eight years to the biggest village idiot, G. Bush, but after ONLY 1 year of Obama being in office, people "feel" that our country is going in the wrong direction and quickly elect a republican to fill Kennedy's seat! What is wrong with this picture! We want "change" but then we don't give change time to happen!

Dear Pat Robertson, Love Satan

Dear Pat Robertson,

I know that you know that all press is good press, so I appreciate the shout-out. And you make God look like a big mean bully who kicks people when they are down, so I'm all over that action.

But when you say that Haiti has made a pact with me, it is totally humiliating. I may be evil incarnate, but I'm no welcher. The way you put it, making a deal with me leaves folks desperate and impoverished.

Sure, in the afterlife, but when I strike bargains with people, they first get something here on earth -- glamour, beauty, talent, wealth, fame, glory, a golden fiddle. Those Haitians have nothing, and I mean nothing. And that was before the earthquake. Haven't you seen "Crossroads"? Or "Damn Yankees"?

If I had a thing going with Haiti, there'd be lots of banks, skyscrapers, SUVs, exclusive night clubs, Botox -- that kind of thing. An 80 percent poverty rate is so not my style. Nothing against it -- I'm just saying: Not how I roll.

You're doing great work, Pat, and I don't want to clip your wings -- just, come on, you're making me look bad. And not the good kind of bad. Keep blaming God. That's working. But leave me out of it, please. Or we may need to renegotiate your own contract.

Best, Satan